Sister Pew's last letter Week 75 - "The call isn't out there at all, it's inside me"

Ahahahahahaha what even is this.

Well, let me tell you some eventful things that have happened and then I'm going to dramatically word vomit on you. You're welcome.

-We had possibly the best DDM I've ever had on my whole mission on Tuesday. Which is great because it was my last real DDM. Elder E asked us to come prepared to share a time when the Savior has helped us. It was really cool to hear people share and to be able to testify myself. The Spirit was really powerful. 

-We saw this lady Sister A this week. She is wheelchair bound because she was attacked by a guy who hit her on the head with a shovel a while ago and she has traumatic brain injury and is partially paralyzed on her left side. She made us pizza and it was the sweetest. She is lonely and feels pretty useless so it was wonderful to be able to be with her and cheer her up and thank her for all the good she does. Which is a lot! She's the ward compassionate service director and she does so good coordinating that and helping people.

-I finished My Plan!!!

-We had a yoga class this week and that was the funnest. The instructor, Sister H, has encouraged me to get my yoga teaching license or whatever. and also to eat healthier. :)

-We dropped in on a cute family in our ward this week, the Jolleys. They are adorable. They have a 3 year old who is nutso crazy and 3 year olds who are nutso crazy happen to be my favorite kind of people. It's like being around a tiny drunk person. SO funny.

-Yesterday was a traumatic day. First, the bishop called me up on the fly to bear my testimony and I TOTALLY CRIED IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE WARD. That was a great time. Then, in gospel principles, one of the returning less actives looked like he was in pain and clutching his heart. Both Sister Ekberg and I felt like we should ask him if he was okay. When he stood up after the prayer, he walked a couple steps and then collapsed. He was taken away by ambulance about 2 minutes later. He's fine now!! But that was a wild time. Then later that night, we were called in to solve a relationship issue. We sat there and watched a couple yell at each other for like 20 minutes. *sigh* I'm never getting married.

-We sticky note attacked the zone leaders and that was fun. Also it's been raining nonstop.

-We had my first and most likely only emergency exchange with the YSA sisters so we could help them with their area 'cause it's struggling.

-It's been a hard road saying goodbye to everyone. My heart is in two places!!

-My cute mommy sent us a really awesome package with really awesome gifts for my really awesome recent converts and they loved them. Also she sent N a picture of Jesus which she loved. Also, N and the ASL class are throwing me two separate goodbye parties which is adorable.

-I am enjoying talking to everyone. I hope I still do that when I get back ;)

-I have finally started packing... also I love not freaking out about transfer news.

-We met this guy M when we were just walking around outside on a nice day a couple weeks back. He was listening to very offensive music with his two buddies who fled when we approached. We left him with a Book of Mormon. Earlier this week he said he'd been reading it and he loves it. So of course we've been talking to him some more. He said he wants to read with us but we're a little sketched out by him so we're going to bring some buddies...maybe elders? Hahahaha. 

-We basically got fed every day this week because the members in South Carolina are wonderful.

-Had an awesome lesson with A and the P family. We talked about the gospel of Jesus Christ. A is really taking wing and it's so cool to see. Also the Ps are the greatest.

-K bore her testimony of the RESTORATION to us in her lesson with us on Saturday. She said she found a scripture in the Bible that testifies of the apostasy and she loves the idea that God will always reach out to us to restore truth. It was so cool to see her take something that is specific to this church, which are the things she has struggled with her whole teaching journey, and see it for what it means for her and stuff. So that was a huge payoff moment as a missionary.

I think that's all... 

Well, folks. This is it.

This is my last email from South Carolina.

It's weird. It's surreal. I feel almost like I've been lead to the edge of a cliff. Or like I'm about to jump out of an airplane. But I know I need to let myself fall.

These past months feel like a rollercoaster ride. I have learned enough to fill several books. Including but not limited to, the correct grammatical usage of the word "y'all", where sweet tea originated from, which skirts work well while biking, whether or not you should knock the door with 18 dogs perched outside it, what the voice of the Spirit sounds like, how to tick off a companion/how to make a companion happy, how to resolve concerns and differences, how to make friends, the proper way to make a barbecue sauce, who Francis Marion is, what it feels like to look across the Atlantic ocean, what it means to be saved, what we mean when we talk about the Atonement, and who the Savior is to me.

I have given it everything I have. I occasionally have more to give on some days than I do on other days, but the important thing is that I never gave up. Not one single day. I was fighting against substantial fears and worries and doubts, and there were definite times when I felt like I was drowning. But the Lord pulled me through.

I can't even explain to you how much I will miss it here. I will miss the insane amount of green everywhere. I will miss the people calling you baby, honey and sugar and blessing your heart when you tell them how far you are away from home and why you're in South Carolina anyway. I will miss biking on sandy roads, the red dirt, and the humidity. I will miss slapping away mosquitos and asking little kids how old they are, and I'll miss hearing their responses (which usually end in the word 'ma'am'). I will miss the long, stretching, squiggling roads (But I won't miss the drivers!) I'll miss late night calls from investigators, and I'll miss hearing people say, "y'all have no idea how much it means to me that y'all are doing what you're doing." I'll miss the old people who tell you all their business that you never wanted to hear. I'll miss scratching my eyes constantly because everyone has 25 cats. I'll miss people who let you in just to feed you, people who let you in only to listen once, and people who listen enough to let the Holy Ghost in, too. I'll miss the colors and the hills in the upstate. I'll miss the farm smell, the log cabin feel, the peach trees everywhere. I'll miss the dogs that bark at you from behind closed doors or wire fences or even just loose across the street...kinda. I'll miss the sleepy, quiet little towns that seem to be on the border of everything, and I'll miss hearing the mining stories and farming stories and pretty much every other kind of redneck story you can think of. I'll miss Charleston, alive with people and the colors of the market. I'll miss the humidity (really) and the sea breeze and how friendly everyone is. I'll miss the power and Spirit that fills the room when you tell someone about the First Vision for the first time. It never gets old. I'll miss the summer rain and the people I love so much - be they lifelong, stalwart members or the newest convert or not a member at all or anywhere in between. I will just simply miss it so much. 

But in the words of Bilbo Baggins, "I want to see mountains again, Gandalf! Mountains!"

And speaking of movies and movie quotes, let me share something else I've had on my mind off and on since Christmas.  It's got to do with my subject line. 

On Christmas we watched Moana as a mission. There's this one part where Moana is really discouraged and so her dead grandmother pays her a visit. In that visit, her grandmother asks her, "do you know who you are?" In a scene as powerful as any I have seen in any movie ever, Moana recalls the history of her people and the journey she's been on, all leading up to her declaration of who she is and what she has the power to do. In the middle of this song she says (sings, really) a line that slapped me in the face the first time I heard it and has continued to slap me in the face every time I think about it. 

She says, "And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me."

And that is entirely correct. A mission call, a call to serve, isn't out there in the world. It isn't a call to go somewhere special - it's not a call to South Carolina, or a call to Mexico, or a call to Texas, or a call to Finland, or a call to Argentina. It's not for 18 months or 2 years. It's inside of you. It follows you wherever you go. And it's who you are.

Think of that. Because of who you are, you have the power to do whatever God has asked of you. You have a call inside you. What will you say to that call?

I'm winding down. The most important thing I can share with you here at the end of this crazy, wonderful, beautiful journey in South Carolina is the testimony that I have gained of the great Atoning Sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

I have come a long way since I left. And really the only thing that I did is decide that I was all in, and I was gonna let Jesus Christ take what I could give and make it enough. That's all it took. And Jesus Christ stepped in and helped me become a person that I wouldn't have ever known how to be without Him. It's someone I can be proud of, which is a miracle.

He really lives. He really suffered and died for you. Individually. He knows what your paper cuts and broken bones feels like. He knows your losses and your failures and your flaws. He sees all of it and He loves you -- because of, in spite of, all those things. He understands what's going on in your head, even when you don't. And He can give you strength where you thought you were hopelessly spent.

Please let Him take what you have and make it enough. You have so much to give and so much you can do with His help. My hope as a missionary and a representative of Jesus Christ is that we as saints and friends and family can change this world and bring people closer to Him.

I love you! Thank y'all, ALL y'all, for the prayers, the support, the help, the love, the letters, the packages, the worry, the blessings, and especially for the gift of your friendship. I seriously am so grateful God sent me the best people to fill my life with happy :)

If I am coming home to you on Friday but you're not in my family, which means all my Utah friends and family and if any of my South Carolina friends and family will happen to be in Utah at the time:

My family will be hosting an OPEN HOUSE for me on Monday, June 4th at 7:30 PM until we all die. Everyone is welcome. Even if you feel like we're not that close, we are. We are that close. Come see me. I would looooove to see you. And word vomit about my mission on you. NO BUT REALLY YOU SHOULD ALL COME. IN REAL LIFE. It will be a great time. Promise.

I will be giving my Homecoming talk on Father's Day. Which I realize might be a little bit of a struggle for some of you to make it. But hey, I'd love for y'all to bring your dads because I love dads. Dads are the best. BYOD? Bring your own dad? But anyways, yeah, it's at 1pm on June 17th. The building address is 4580 West Cedar Hills Drive, Cedar Hills, Utah. Seriously, if you can come and bring your dads, I'd love to see you.

Okay, okay, I think I'm actually done.

Remember, I love you forever.

And, as always, and until we meet again,

Don't let the muggles get you down!

love,

Sister Emily Ruth Pew

Week 74 - first and last and everything in between

Only one more of these?

This was a great week.

I keep waking up in the middle of the night remembering things I need to get done before I come home. 

This week I finally hit the excited stage. I've been talking about it, and worrying about it, and praying about it, but now I've actually made it to the point where I am welcoming it.

Last P-day we got our nails done. Mine are sparkly pink. Also we got rejected by this lady in a pizza place. She was so super nice to us and was like telling us she knew she needed to come to that pizza place to meet us, but when we offered her a Book of Mormon, she was like, "nah, I need to finish the Bible first." ...so you can't take it??? Hahahaha. Southern people. Gotta love em.

I went on my laaaaaast exchaaaaaaange? Whaaaaat? With Sister Landon. She is the cutest human living on planet earth. This was my third exchange with her. We got to go play in the park with a cute little family I used to work with in Moncks Corner and it dumped rain on us. We also went to see my recent convert P! With my good friend sister K! That was a blaaaast. Also Sister Landon and I just talked until very late at night. In bed with the lights off at 10:30, of course.

We had an excellent chat with A about the Plan of Salvation. It just makes me realize how much sense that plan makes. For instance, why the heck would God just stick us here in families willy-nilly when He so meticulously plans out everything else? Or why would He send us here with a physical body if that body was not meant to be significant? Or why would He create our souls just to continue as souls when He does in fact love us, is our Father, and wants (as any good father does) for us to have all the blessings that He has? There's no way He'd just create us to float around and not intend to make something more of us, something more like He is. And guess what? No one else has that sort of information, and a lot of that stuff is found in the Book of Mormon. So in other words, the church is true.

N is still doing well. She made us food on Wednesday and is feeding us again this Wednesday. 

We challenged the Walterboro elders to a Book of Mormon competition. We mainly did it to keep one of them from getting trunky, and rumor has it they kicked our trash. So we will have to buy them Chic Fil A tomorrow after DDM. But we did hand out 14, which was a miracle!

It was also my cute companion's birthday on Friday! I am so grateful for how kind and patient she is. I've basically been a wreck this entire transfer but she is so chill and loves me anyways :) so shout out to Sister Ekberg for joining the 20 club!

For her birthday, the zone leaders got her blow up boxing gloves and made us promise to film ourselves fighting with them, so we did real quick on Sunday in between all the bajillion things we had to do.

Speaking of Sunday, K came to church with K (her little boy) and I got to spend the majority of 3rd hour making him laugh and playing with dinosaurs. Best day ever.

Sorry that was all so scattered but I'm a little bit jumpy and tired. I slept like 3 hours and then spent all day walking around Charleston, so after I send this I'm probably gonna take a nap. But here's the spiritual thought for this week. 

When I went to the temple for the first time, I had to get rid of a bit of clothing because it was no longer modest for me to wear. I remember thinking about some of those clothes, "why did I buy that?" Or "Why did I waste my time?"

The more I think about it, the more I'm like, that's how life is. Sometimes we get so caught up in the now that we miss things of eternal importance happening all around us. Then we look back and wonder why we worried so much about things that were of so little real value in the end.

The good better best principle is something I've gained a strong testimony of on my mission. You can do good things; you can do better things; and you can do best things. However, if there is a choice between a good choice and the best choice, obviously do the best thing. Which is usually more inconvenient or difficult, but you will look back and be so pleased with your choices. That's where I'm living right now. I feel at peace. My decisions have brought me closer to Christ and I know that while some of them have been harder than others, I'm being blessed and will continue to be blessed for making them. Most of the time the hardest thing was to reject something better than just good for something best - to choose the Lord and to serve the Lord over any other place, activity or person, including those that I love. I have great hope that the eternal benefit of those choices will far outweigh any sacrifice I made to keep my covenants to the best of my ability. I definitely haven't been perfect, but I can honestly say that I have given what I could. And that is a great feeling.

Tune in next week for the season finale of "Don't let the muggles get you down!: a Missionary's Journey in South Carolina".

And, of course,

I love you!

Don't let the muggles get you down! (I've reached the point, finally, where my tablet can guess I'm about to say that. )

Sister Pew

Exchanges with Sister Landon

Sister Ekberg and Sister Pew with a friend

Charleston P-day

P-day at the 400 year old tree (same day) with other missionaries

Week 73 - A Reason for Hope

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, it's been a wonderful week here in South Carolina. We did have a couple things happen with some of our folks you might have read about in the past. Here's an update on a few.

N: She told us this week she has decided to remain Baptist for awhile. Which is sad, but also fine. We pretty much had figured. So we're going to slow down a little bit. We've started her on the addiction recovery program and that went WAY better than we expected. Also, she is NOT excited that I am leaving, although she expressed a great deal of love for Sister Ekberg this week. It was really great!

R: We went over to teach R, but didn't end up teaching her because we talked (signed) about ordering her a Book of Mormon and that she'd have to pay and then we were going to teach her but she said she had to eat because she has diabetes and her blood sugar was off. So... :|

K:  Right at the beginning of my time here, we went over and taught her the Restoration and she had really awesome questions like, "How do you know President Nelson is a prophet?" She called us yesterday morning in a panic because of a lot of personal stuff going on in her life, so we rushed to a different city to talk to her. One of our members called her on the phone and told her to come to church so she could get help. It was such a testimony builder to see the ward just reach out to this poor, sick, scared young lady and offer her dinner, a place to stay the night, babysitting for her kids, and a ride to and from church. It was beautiful. She had an awesome experience.

P: She was our Bible referral from awhile back. We went and delivered her a large print copy of the Bible so she could see the words, and she was so grateful. We just started talking about the things Jesus Christ taught in the Bible, and that led us to bring up what the "gospel" actually means: faith, repentance, baptism by water and fire, and enduring to the end. She was quiet for a second and then asked us a question. "So, say I got baptized five or six years ago, but a lot has happened between then and now. Do I need to be baptized again?" And that, my friends, is what we call a golden opportunity to explain the need for priesthood authority. Once she heard that, we asked her how she was feeling. She began to explain that she had been searching for the true church, and asking all her friends about their churches, and going to different services, and trying to find the one that was best for her. She said she felt like she had done all she could, and now the Lord was showing her the way by bringing the true church to her. SO THAT WAS AWESOME.

Something that's been on my mind as the airplane engines get louder is the necessity to stay true to the faith. I think it can be dangerously easy without the structure of a missionary routine to get out of the habit of doing the small things. I heard an interesting concept from my good friend Hank Smith (inspirational speaker) based on Alma 32 that since a testimony is like a tree, you can't lose it. Did I say that loud enough? YOU CAN'T JUST LOSE A TREE. You can't just go outside and be like, "Wait, where'd I put my tree? I swear I just had it here a minute ago..." That IS NOT A THING, OKAY??? You can't lose a testimony. 

But if your testimony tree is not rooted in personal experiences with Christ -- in a personal witness gained by life experience, earnest study of the scriptures, fervent prayer and a confirmation from the Holy Ghost -- it is easy to let your tree die. If you stop watering a young tree, or stop nourishing it with sunlight and food and what it needs to survive, if you lock it in a dark room so it never sees the light of day and most of all if you don't care about the tree, it will die. 

Just to conclude: You can't lose your testimony. Testimonies don't just pick up and leave. But you can let them die. Testimonies take work, and they take experience. But they're worth it. Because one day that tree will bring forth fruit. I can't even talk about how great being a missionary is without getting emotional. It's because as a missionary, my tree brought forth fruit. I can testify, from experience, that the taste of this fruit is so delicious that for the rest of my life I will be seeking more of that fruit. I'll be nourishing and caring for my tree so that it grows into a strong tree that is fruitful enough that I can share my experiences with Christ with other people.

And with experience comes a power that is undeniable. Always remember: a person with an experience is never at the mercy of a person with an opinion. You might know a person or two with an opinion about your faith, but you have experiences, and so you do not have to be afraid of what they might think.

I know for myself that the Book of Mormon is absolutely true. I have prayed and asked and received a witness from the Holy Spirit that it is true, and that Jesus is the Christ. He really lives. I have learned for myself, independent of anyone else, that God is aware of the situations we need, uncomfortable though they may be for us. He is aware of the trials we face and the aid we require, and He has promised that He will not leave us comfortless. I know that He always comes through for us. We will experience hardship and darkness. But He sent His Son to be our example and our light. Please turn to Him and find eternal life.

I love y'all!

Don't let the muggles get you down!

-Sister Pew

Picture from exchanges

Week 72-Two Baptisms

FAMILY AND FRIENDS, BEING A MISSIONARY IS THE BEST THING ON THE PLANET. IF YOU ARE NOT BEING A MISSIONARY, BE A MISSIONARY. YOU WILL HAVE LOTS OF JOY.

Man, life is so hard! But so good! I think I have literally felt every feeling on the whole spectrum of human emotions this week. 

The best news, and the most important, is the double baptism and confirmation this weekend of K and A.

K went first, and oh man oh man folks, if that wasn't the sweetest thing ever, I don't know what is. She was terrified. But she looked at me before entering the (freezing cold) font, and she had tears in her eyes, and I asked her, "you ready?" And she said, "I don't know." And then she turned and put her hand on the railing and walked down into the font. With her husband. In that moment I saw that she was willing to sacrifice her personal comfort in the hope that she could be an eternal family one day. It was beautiful to watch her face her fears and decide that the love of God and her husband were more important than it. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. I witnessed freakin' poetry okay. It was awesome. She stayed for A's baptism and when one of the elders' investigators showed up she just immediately went over and talked to her and welcomed her in. She is the best human.

And then A's baptism was the most happy time. Imagine you get to watch two of your best friends meet Jesus in one day. That's what it was like, people. A just glowed. We asked him how he felt after and he was like, "I feel awesome." Also, we gave him a tie we made and he was so impressed that we knew how to make ties. Yesterday in his confirmation blessing the Bishop blessed him with the desire to serve a mission. And he bore his testimony about his conversion in Sunday school. It was beautiful. I freaking love it. Ah, happy happy happy!

Something that's cool about both of these baptisms is that they are MEMBER REFERRALS. I feel so blessed that I can be here at this time to see this happen. Eternal families were created. A future missionary was made. And it's all thanks to the sweet members here in Summerville. Bless them. 

We had a great lesson with N this week. We made a lot of strides in our personal relationship with each other which was a blessing. It's awesome.

I just wanted to share something that I've been thinking about and then let you get back to ya lives.

The times when I have been happiest on my mission have been times when I wasn't focused on myself. I was focused on other people and serving and helping them. President Monson said, "Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish -- and in effect save their lives." Jesus said something really similar: "Whosoever shall save his life shall lose it: and whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 16:25) I know that as we lose ourselves in the service of others, we will be much, much much much much much much happier. I have felt lots of burdens lifted as I have tried to do this. I'm not perfect at it, but that's why we have a Savior who can help us to become the ways we know we should be.

I love you all! I am so happy to be a missionary. This week it has been made very clear to me just how lucky I am to be a full-time servant of God. It has been really hard, but it has been really, really, really wonderful. Like, so wonderful it's worth every hard time. I promise it always is.

Don't let the muggles get you down!

Love,

Sister Pew

Week 71 - Like a Phoenix Rising From the Ashes

I had a very interesting week this week. Updates on people really fast, and then I'll tell you a cool epiphany.

N! We didn't see her at all this week. She is still struggling to feel peace about not being baptized. She is having a really hard time, so please pray for her.

K! She has her baptismal interview tonight. She graduated from pharmacy school and they announced that in Relief Society and everyone clapped and I think she was embarrassed but also touched. She is excited to be involved in the ministering efforts for Relief Society. She is the best.

A! He's doing so good, it's unreal. We had 2 lessons with him and in one of them we asked him what he thought the purpose of the temple is, and he was like, "well, it connects us to our Father in Heaven." Exact words. Where did we find this kid?! He also has his interview tonight.

So we're double DUNKING next Saturday. *firework noises*

Our companionship! We are on literal fire. We set the goal to hand out 70 Books of Mormon in the next 5 weeks! Hoorah. Also we've been biking around because it's actually really good for talking to people. Hard to do that in a car without looking like FBI agents.... 

This week I had the opportunity to go on an exchange with a sister who was struggling with mental health issues, specifically anxiety. It was an interesting day - our usual missionary activities were somewhat disrupted by the demons in her mind. She was pretty drained and depleted, just due to trying to fight those internal battles and not really knowing how to manage her feelings and also be a missionary and worry about others and help them to come closer to Christ. She confided in me for over 3 hours about how hopeless she felt her life had become.

I had an experience before my mission where I was having some really hard days as far as anxiety goes. I remember writing in my journal to myself, "Keep going! You are experiencing this so that one day you can look someone in the eye and say, 'it gets better'."

It was a tender moment when I was able to bear her my sure witness to this sweet sister that it was He who lifted me from where I was to where I am now. I was able to see in hindsight one of the reasons I had to feel the pain I felt. It was sort of cool, like looking across time to a little sister version of myself and smiling. I had no idea then how happy I would one day be.

This sister has decided to go home and I was privileged to be able to be there when she received her answer that that is what she needed to do. It was a revelatory experience for her, and due to the personal nature of it, I'll spare you the details of what she was dealing with and how her answer came. I saw a familiar peace enter her countenance though. I have great hope that she will one day feel the way I feel, and this really hard step is the first in getting the help she needs.

I know I talk about this stuff a lot, but the Lord has just uniquely placed me at this time to be able to see the blessings in my trials. And im just also sort of blown away by the sheer power of the Savior. For a brief moment I wasn't sure if I'd ever be the person I wanted to be. My hope levels were low. But I no longer feel that I am walking in the dark. Of course there are moments of shadow, but the Light of the World so permeates my daily experiences that I sometimes forget how dark it was back then! He restores us to hope, and that is the most awesome thing ever. I'm not gonna lie and tell you that my life is roses all the time, because it certainly is not. But I have so much hope! Because there are certain things that cannot change. One of those is the Savior's grace. Another one of those is my own divine nature. And finally, the love of God. No matter what happens to me, those are all facts of life.

So just know you are a child of God. He loves you. The Savior suffered for you and He can help you become better. These things are the reason I experience true happiness and joy.

I love you!

Don't let the muggles get you down! 

All my love,

Sister Pew

This elder was in the first Face2Face with youth asking the questions--Sister Pew was in the 2nd Face2Face which was with the Piano Guys

Matching dresses!

Beautiful South Carolina

She got to stop by the temple

Sister Pew and Sister Ekberg

Biking

Happy

Rainy and the temple behind them

More biking

Last MLC--Silly picture

Another silly one

MLC Mission Leadership Conference-Sister Pew middle back
She said it was a great conference! Even though she is sad it was her last