No Less Serviceable
3 Nephi 11:41 says:
41 Therefore, go forth unto this people, and declare the words which I have spoken, unto the ends of the earth.
Over the past six months, I have submitted my papers, received my mission call, and watched as pretty much all of my friends left on their missions - with a few notable exceptions. I've always been proud of my friends, but now, as I watch them all obey the Savior's command to preach the gospel found in 3 Nephi, it's a little overwhelming. I'm very excited to follow in their footsteps, in the footsteps of my exceptional older brothers, and in the footsteps of my parents, both of whom served missions themselves.
On December 14th I will enter the MTC. From there, I will travel to Columbia, South Carolina, where I will spend the next 18 months preaching the gospel to people I don't know, but have already come to love. To an outsider, this might seem psycho, and I understand why: I'm going to leave home for eighteen months, move across the country by myself, and experience nearly daily rejection. That's absolutely crazy - if that's how you want to see it.
But let me reframe your mindset for a second. Look at the things I'll be doing for the next 18 months at face value, and it seems a little insane. But if you leave the individual out of the equation and focus on a larger scale, things seem a little clearer.
Young people, kids really, some of them fresh out of high school, are sent to remote and unfamiliar places to partake in the most unselfish work during the most selfish years of their lives. In a time of life where most people are taught to look out for themselves and focus on individual happiness, LDS missionaries learn every day that true happiness comes from being in the service of others, which, as we're taught in Mosiah 2:17, is only the service of God. We are expected and desire to choose God over everything, including hormones, college, jobs, and other various opportunities or temptations we're presented with. Taking care of His mortal children, and loving them, does Him a great service, and that should be the core desire of missionaries - to serve.
This is how I see it: when I boil it all down, missionary work isn't about me, or about the missionary at all. It's all about Jesus Christ and God the Father, and that is equal turns comforting and humbling.
Humility is, coincidentally, what I consider, for me, to be the name of the game. It's something I've had to constantly practice, because as many of you know, aside from giving public speeches, I love being in front of people and performing. It's hard not to be arrogant when, just because of the nature of my hobby, I receive some amount of attention. I try to be more like my dad, who recently made it into the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and who probably hates that I bring it up at all, let alone from the pulpit. He's constantly doing good things, and is very reluctant to be recognized for it. I imagine my dad was a really good missionary - but I wouldn't really know, because I wasn't there, and because he downplays pretty much every good thing he's ever done, giving all the credit to whom it's really due - to God and to the Savior. I hope I can adopt more of my dad's humility into my personal life.
But anyway, although being involved in theater in high school may have created a bit of an attention issue in my personality, it also taught me a very valuable lesson that relates to what I'm trying to speak on: you can never measure the depth of an actor's talent by what role they play, only by how well they perform the role they're given. A good actor isn't necessarily always landing lead roles; rather, they are doing wonderful things with any role they're assigned, in the spotlight or out.
This pattern will continue on my mission, just translated into gospel language: you cannot gauge the success of a missionary by what leadership role they hold, how many baptisms they've had, or how many appointments don't fall through. The best missionary isn't the one who is constantly in the spotlight - the best missionary is the one who's not focused on the spotlight at all, but on loving and serving their companions and the children of God they will meet in the field.
This is really the question to ask if you're looking for success on your mission: where is your focus? If your focus is inward, you're going to give yourself a very hard time. If your focus is outward, God will not necessarily make it easy for you, but He will give you peace and joy. Missionary work isn't about me - for me, it's about everyone else, especially the people in South Carolina. They are so important and so loved, and so many of them don't know how to feel the happiness that only the gospel brings. Anyone with a knowledge of the gospel would be anxious to tell them all about it.
I may not be the most eloquent, well-spoken, well-dressed, perfect missionary, either. I am a simple girl, with simple faith. But it comforts me to know that God will take my simple faith and turn it into something that can change lives. That is why I'm going to serve a mission: not because I think I'll be the best missionary, or baptize all my investigators, or be a great leader. It's because I want to give everything I have up to God. I want to be His, and I want everyone else to be His too. It truly doesn't matter what leadership positions I hold, or how glamorous my life is, as long as I use what I have been given to serve God and bring His message of hope to everyone that knows me.
*Bear testimony and probably cry*
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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